A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.

She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'


The woman returns the next day for the wake.

To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. . . . . . . ...



So I just switched the heads.'

Joey

LMAO

great joke wild canon . love a good joke.

LOL, still laughing after a minute of reading it.
This is the joke of the day.
Thanks for sharing.

As everybody!

At the end of the day...................................................................................................................................................... its 2359.

What do you call a Scouser in a white shell suit ?.................. The Bride.

Q - What weighs 8lb and wont be plucked this Christmas ?

A - John Denvers Guitar.


Yogi.

How do you make a duck sing?





Put it in a microwave till its Bill Withers

Joey

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a large hole. The neighbour popped his head over the fence and said, what you doing Tim ? My goldfish died and I've just buried him. The neighbour frowned and said that's rather a large hole for a goldfish isn't it. As Tim patted down the last lot of earth, he replied - that's because its inside your cat.

Yogi.

Paddy and Mick rent a private plane for the day, and are doing fine until its time to land. Paddy concentrates on the instrument panel and finally gets the plane down, but he has to screech to a halt before running onto the grass. Boy, that was a short runway as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Yeah, says Paddy, but look how wide it is.

Yogi.

Seen today on a car in my local supermarket car park - I want one!

This post was last modified: 16-11-2009 05:04 PM by wild canon.

Nice one WC!!!!

Slightly adult theme to this one












A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverblack gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She did... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now..... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."

This post was last modified: 01-12-2009 09:22 PM by wild canon.