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Full Version: The Difference Between Dogs and Cats
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DOG DIARY

8 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

Noon - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

5 pm - Chewy bones! My favorite thing!

7 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

How I hate them!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... . ...
Lol! This made my day! So true as well, I can just imagine a cat thinking like this.
Great piece, very enjoyable to read Icon_biggrin
Completely true!

I hve been looking after a rabbit which is a bit like the cat pretending to be friendly when it wants something.
Poor cat! Icon_biggrin

I love the bit about the bird, cats must find them tantalisingly out of reach.
Agree with the cat stuff. You could add to the dogs diary:

10:30 - Out again for a walk. Crapped all over the footpath again. Owners still not picking it up!

10:35 - Ahh the joys of running free off my lead! Think i will dive into the flashes and pools, disturbing all the birds and spoiling the birders enjoyment again! Maybe i can catch and kill a swan like last time! Oh, must go, need to find a strategic place for another poo for someone to tread in or a small child to fall into!

11.00 - Back home, just in time to crap on the Lawn and wee up a shrub. I managed to kill four last year, try and beat the record in 2008!

(i do have a dog, just hate irresponsible owners!)
Ha! Very good, very creative
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